ancestors' experiences with love and marriage

Started by Erica Howton on Wednesday, June 22, 2016
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6/22/2016 at 1:19 PM

NEHGS (AmericanAncestors.org) did a weekly survey, here are results:

The Weekly Genealogist Survey
Last week's survey asked about your ancestors' experiences with love and marriage. 3,630 people answered the survey. More than one answer could be selected. The results are:
14%, At least one of my ancestors had an arranged marriage.    
21%, At least one of my ancestors had a broken engagement.    
36%, At least one of my ancestors had a fiancé or spouse who was killed in a war.    
15%, At least one of my ancestors had a spouse who died within six months of their wedding day.    
32%, At least one of my ancestors died within six months of a spouse's death.    
15%, At least one of my ancestors was involved in a bigamous marriage.    
45%, At least one of my ancestors was married more than three times.    
5%, At least one of my ancestors was reunited with a long-lost love.    
60%, At least one of my ancestors was married 60 years or more.     

6/23/2016 at 9:57 AM

This would be a good survey to add to the Real-life love stories project. Do we want to have projects for each of these "categories" or not???

6/23/2016 at 10:07 AM

I added several humorous pix to the project...

6/23/2016 at 10:13 AM

No poll question for me:
- At least one of my ancestors was charged with murdering her husbands (Daisy Louisa de Melker) :-)

Private User
6/23/2016 at 11:49 AM

Unrequited love, does that fit in your project?

Emanuel Swedenborg

Äktenskapliga kärleken och dess motsats
http://runeberg.org/swedakt/

... de amore conjugiali ...

"One often discussed aspect of Swedenborg's writing is his ideas on marriage. Swedenborg himself remained a bachelor all his life, but that did not hinder him from writing voluminously on the subject. His work on Marriage Love (Conjugial Love in older translations) (1768) was dedicated to this purpose.

A central question with regard to marriage is whether it stops at death or continues into heaven. The question arises due to a statement of Jesus’ that there is no marriage in heaven (Luke 20:27–38, Matthew 22:23–32, and Mark 12:18–27). Swedenborg wrote The Lord God Jesus Christ on Marriage In Heaven as a detailed analysis of what he meant.

The quality of the relationship between husband and wife resumes in the spiritual world in whatever state it was at their death in this world. Thus, a couple in true marriage love remain together in that state in heaven into eternity. A couple lacking in that love by one or both partners, however, will separate after death and each will be given a compatible new partner if they wish. A partner is also given to a person who loved the ideal of marriage but never found a true partner in this world. The exception in both cases is a person who hates chaste marriage and thus cannot receive such a partner.

Swedenborg saw creation as a series of pairings, descending from the Divine love and wisdom that define God and are the basis of creation. This duality can be seen in the pairing of good and truth charity and faith, God and the church, and husband and wife. In each case, the goal for these pairs is to achieve conjunction between the two component parts. In the case of marriage, the object is to bring about the joining together of the two partners at the spiritual and physical levels, and the happiness that comes as a consequence."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emanuel_Swedenborg

The love of his life...
Emerentia Polhem

Swedenborg undertook, towards the end of 1716, a trip to the city Götheborg, Trollhättan, Vänern, Hjälmaren and Gullspångs river, to appoint new places where to construct sluices. Born in 1688, he was at this time 28 years old. In the company of the renowned Mr Polhem they made many trips in the country. Strangely he aroused for the first and also the last time love to a girl. The object was Polhem's second daughter in order, the young Emerentia, then still a child just fourteenth year old, who later, in 1723, married the court judge Rückersköld.

The girl was not the slightest entertained in inclination with the gallant and did not in any condition want to engage with him, although her father, who was Svedenborg warmly devoted, wanted to force her into marriage by the power of his guardianship. Polhem made in order to satisfy Svedenborg, a written contract, of content, that he would get Emerentia to be his wife when she become older. It was hoped that she at riper years would be wise enough to willingly be part of her father's wish. This contract was forced onto the poor child to sign.

But hardly had she done it before she considered how she would be able to endure a life attached to a person, to whom she had not entertained the slightest affection, so she began to mourn and grieve so deeply that her family feared for her sanity. Swedenborg, whose sweetest amusement was to daily read the contract, suddenly missed it one day and became frantic. It was found out that Emerentia's brother of pity for the young sister's immense suffering, had stolen it. When Polhem received knowledge of this, he would again use his paternal authority, to reacquire the contract in his friends hands; but he was to noble to further torment the poor girl. He calmed her father and said that he voluntarily renounced all claims and then he took leave of the family Polhem during a sacred vow never to think of marriage, a promise he faithfully kept. - And later, in his old age, his love object daughters and son's in law visited the soothsayer in his garden in Stockholm, he said to them that he could, whenever he wanted talk to their deceased mother.

Emerentia was born in 1703 and died in 1760 and was known by her time for the publication of "Swedish Rhyme".

6/23/2016 at 1:06 PM

Yes Private User good thinking - definitely "real life love story.". I imagine there are quite a few historic figures with tragic / unrequited / etc love stories.

Sharon Doubell maybe a "love story gone wrong" category ?

Patricia Ann Scoggin I am reluctant to make projects without known profiles, so maybe park them in https://www.geni.com/projects/Real-life-love-stories/29932 until there's a couple at least?

We do have https://www.geni.com/projects/Polygamists/25681 & https://www.geni.com/projects/Bigamists/25682

6/23/2016 at 3:47 PM

Erica Howton I added the survey results to the project as it may give people some examples of people who would fit in the project. Hope you don't mind...

6/23/2016 at 4:09 PM

Glad for it, thank you Patricia Ann Scoggin

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