Genealogy Humor

#42....I'm from New England....up here it goes "Found a Reb in my tree.....etc..etc..."

On another note: Be nice to the old geezer down the road, he may be your cousin. (works also for the old biddy).

Thanks Fay, I will add those to my "master" list which will again change the #'s! Oh, well, the more the merrier, right??? "G's" will start with #45 due to additions.

Of those in the 33-42 group, I loved #34 about photographic memory could apply not only to family, but friends/acquaintances also!!!

Here are those Genealogist Sayings that start with a "G". Hope you find a few to identify with or that cause a chuckle or a groan!!!

45. Gene-Allergy: It's a contagious disease, but I love it.
46. Genealogists never die; they just loose their roots. 

47. Genealogists live life in the Past Lane.
48. Genealogist’s Hunting Season never ends!
49. Genealogists never lose their jobs, they just go to another branch!
50. Genealogists are like monkeys, always in the trees.
51. Genealogists are Time Unravelers.
52. Genealogists will date any old thing!
53. Genealogy: The study of Relativity.
54. Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people. 



55. Genealogy: A haystack full of needles. It's the threads I need. 


56. Genealogy: Collecting dead relatives and sometimes a live cousin! 


57. Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.
58. Genealogy is sometimes about proving that bad family traits came from the other side of the tree!
59. Genealogy is like playing hide and seek: They hide… I seek!
60. Genealogy is not fatal - but it is a grave disease.
61. Genealogy is relatively interesting.
62. Genealogy – a search for the greatest treasures – our ancestors.
63. Genealogy – it’s not a hobby; it’s only an obsession after all!
64. Genealogy goes on… and on… and on…
65. Genealogy is the only hobby where dead people can really excite you.
66. Genealogy: Better than the best adventure game and just as frustrating.
67. Genealogy: Search long enough and EVERYONE connects somehow.
68. Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.

Here are "H" & some of the Genealogist sayings for "I". (There were 30 for "I" so am breaking it up. Any comments/observations about any so far???

69. He ain’t heavy--He’s my brother’s aunt’s sister’s husband.
70. Heredity: Something you believe in when your child’s report card is all A’s.
71. Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools! 


72. How can ONE ancestor cause so much TROUBLE???
73. I trace my family history so I will know who to blame. 
 


74. I'd rather be looking for dead people than have them looking for me!
75. I checked out my family tree. Just as I thought… poison ivy!
76. I finally got it all together. Now where did I put it?
77. I found a cuckoo’s nest in my family tree.
78. I looked into my family tree and found out I was a sap.
79. I only work on genealogy on days that end in “y”.
80. I researched my family tree... and apparently I don't exist!
81. I Should have asked them BEFORE they died!
82. I think my ancestors had several "bad heir" days.
83. I wish Noah had swatted those two flies!!!

73. I trace my family history so I will know who to blame. 
 



I think that's the one that got me started !!!

I love $59--Hide & seek... some ancestors sure do like to hide!!!
#50--I do feel like a monkey as I do swing from branch to branch, esp. when I hit an obstacle and can't find that person who is "hiding"!!!

#72--One ancestor causing so much trouble is one that gives me such a headache (think there are several that are causing Soooooooo much trouble!!!)...
#81 Asking before they died is also a failing I have suffered!!! Or do I mean "not asking" is the problem!!!
#83--Noah could have forgotten those 2 mosquitoes also!!!

I'm with Patricia on #50.....I often switch branches after hiting a brick wall, only to find that after working the new one for a while I return to the first and actually start finding things.....perhaps looking too hard?

#83 Black flies...(vs houseflies)

#72 As to this one....if he/she wont give me answers, I go to the siblings.....who often are a well of information.....and have very often led me easily to the info the 1st person wouldn't give up.

But I really like #51 and #53 (Time unravelers, and a study in relativity)....perhaps I've been watching "The Big Bang Theory" too much...

Happy Mother's Day.

Here are some more "Sayings that begin with "I".

84. I wonder if a “Missing Persons Bulletin” would locate my g-g-grandpa?
85. I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the JUNEflower.
86. I’m not crazy, but I may have lost my census!
87. I’m not sick; I’ve just got fading genes.
88. I'm not stuck; I'm ancestrally challenged.
89. I'm stuck in my family tree… and I can't get down!
90. I'm searching for myself. Have you seen me?
91. If ancestry is a river, does that make me a drip?
92. If you are lucky enough to be a genealogist, you are lucky enough. Ruth Padilla
93. If your family members won’t talk about a particular relative, a seasoned genealogist knows they are keeping mum about something very interesting.
94. If you don’t know who the family black sheep is, it’s probably you.
95. If only people came with pull down menus and online help.
96. Isn't Genealogy Fun? The answer to one problem leads to two more.
97. It's hard to be humble with ancestors like mine!
98. It is an unusual family that hath neither a Lady of the Evening or a Thief.

Is anyone reading these??? Would appreciate comments or addition suggestions. Or are you waiting till all "Sayings" that I have are listed here???

Here are some more starting with "J, K, L, M, N".

99. Just when you think you've found them all, Up pops another!
100. Kinship: it’s all relative! 


101. Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.
102. Looking for needles in haystacks.
103. Many a Family Tree needs pruning.
104. May you ask the right question of the right person at the right time.
105. Moment of Truth for a genealogist: discovering you are your own cousin OR you don’t exist.
106. My ancestors are Copyrighted. You have my permission to use the data.
107. My ancestors must be in a Witness Protection Plan.
108. My family coat of arms ties at the back—is that normal?
109. My family tree is full of NOT holes… it’s NOT him, it’s NOT her!!!
110. My family tree is in the forest, somewhere!
111. My family tree is lost in the forest.
112. My family tree keeps leaning to the east!!
113. My family tree must have been used for firewood.
114. My hobby is genealogy, I raise dust bunnies as pets.
115. My husband has started calling cemeteries "Ancestor Farms."
116. No – yes – maybe – could be – perhaps. Musings of a genealogist.
117. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, no one found!

Why is it that information can be found all over the place on some people (who you really aren't looking for but found anyway), whereas the 1 person you really want to find seems to be hiding on purpose?

Folks, I am wondering how much interest there really is in this "discussion"??? Only a very few (& I appreciate your participation!) have been making comments/additions to this site. I have no idea how many of you are reading it as you aren't saying anything!!! It would be OH, SO NICE if more of you would make some comment, observation, or addition so I have some idea if you are enjoying what I have put so far!!! Even just a few words would be appreciated!!!

YOU can also add jokes, humorous frustrations or anything inspiring if it is genealogy related! I will keep adding to this discussion, but this is for ALL in GENi to hopefully tickle a funny bone or lighten the frantic/ frustrating searches or work on your family trees!!!

I am hoping that you might get in the habit of checking this site & adding a comment or joke before you start the serious business of working on your tree or helping others.

Sooooo, Comments Please, or if there isn't that much interest, I may decide to end the discussion or let it die a natural death! (I do still have a lot that I can put here, but if no interest, why should I continue???) Do you want this discussion to continue??????????

Pat

Fay, I agree with your question, but remember they like to play "Hide & Seek"!!! I will add: why must some of the ancestors have so many spellings for their last names & have info about them (& trees created by others) with each spelling with just slightly different data???? (That was a rhetorical question!)

I was searching earlier for more info on a Xggf and found that he was married AFTER he died in numerous trees!!!! People didn't look at what they were putting in their "family sheet"!!! I eliminated them as a possible source for starting info pretty quickly & moved on to other sites!!! No I don't use them as a source, but freq. will use their info as a starting point in looking for more info about the person in question. It is soooooo frustrating when data doesn't gel!!!

"Ambiguity (n.) - a means for frustrating genealogists."

You are probably not old enough to remember 'penmanship' in school....learning the older script for letters.....has come in handy more than once on original census'.......(and sometimes way different that the cover sheet that you find with it).....

And different areas of the country can wreak havoc on a name that is very common to another area of the country.....I had a Charlotte morph into Sharlet....

Dan, love that word!!! Have added it to my "master" Sayings list as it is certainly true in genealogy!!!

When I have listed all (now 162) "sayings" if anyone would like a copy of the master listing, send me a request at my home email address: pscoggin@cox.net. I can send an attachment with all of them. Or if you would like to be on my email list for humorous/inspiring emails that cover other topics, send me a message at the home email address. I usually send at least 1 (sometimes more if I forward any I receive) a day...

Fay, how could we modify you penmanship comment into a saying??? (or anyone else with an idea???) That one sounds like a good one!
Pat

Pat

Here are some more "Sayings". (No, I didn't skip 118--I added the one about "Ambiguity" to the "A"s...)

119. Okay, so I don’t descend from anyone… now what?
120. Old genealogists never die; they just haunt cemeteries.
121. Old genealogists never die; they just lose their census.
122. Old Genealogists never die; they just haunt Archives.
123. Old Genealogists never die; they just get filed away.
124. Old Genealogists never die; they just loose their roots.
125. Olly, olly, oxen free! All hiding ancestors can come out NOW!
126. Once I gave up on reality, I had so many more options.
127. Pruning the Family Tree is NOT permitted!
128. Remember, undocumented genealogy is mythology.
129. Research: What I’m doing, when I don’t know what I’m doing.
130. Running for public office is the easiest way to trace your family tree!

In the last 2 groups of "Sayings" ( 99-130) my favorites are: #99, 107, esp 109, 114, 115, 120, 125, &126 & 127(!!!).
99-I don't think one EVER will find the ALL!
107-I have numerous ones that I think are in the Witness Protection Plan...
109-love the NOT holes...
114-am definitely raising dust bunnies!!!
115-don't have a husband, but certainly like the new name for cemeteries!
120-certainly have haunted a few cemeteries
125-what can I say about this one? Wish this would work...
126-well, this one may prove a problem if you believe #128!!!

Loved #127....I remeber a short time ago a family having a dispute because an EX didn't want their name ot their children listed....Isn't that Pruning?

I love #128....for all those people who just enter, enter, enter, with NO documents, no 'about me'..........."undocumented genealogy is mythology."

Fay, I agree about 128-- whenever I find a new ancestor thru an addition by others, I find it so frustrating when there is NOTHING in the "about me" section and immediately go on an internet search for something about that person!!! It is just as frustrating to find info there, but no documentation as to where it came from!!!

Thanks Fay for your comments! At least I know there are a couple of you reading this discussion!!!

This evening I sent out to my email list an email with 105 "Oldster" (opposite of youngster) cartoons. Anyone who would be interested in receiving a copy, let me know at my home email address (listed in several of these messages.)

hi madam Scoggin
i read your discussion since the start i like this kind of intelectual work

madam Balwin make a perninent remark in 128
"undocumented genealogy is mythology." i call this fabricated genealogy. a made up. alot of ppl in geni site do that way whitout real proof a legal paperwork but found on the net thats more funny XD

like a disney land ride but not into the 33 club

in 127 pruning can be a definition of consort queen?

Here is the next installment of "Sayings": (1 more group after this.)

131. Searching for roots beats chasing dust bunnies!
132. Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall!
133. SHH!! Be very, very quiet, I'm hunting forebears.
134. Share your knowledge; it is a way to achieve immortality.
135. Snobs talk as if they had begotten their own ancestors!
136. Someday YOU'LL be an ancestor too!
137. SOOOOO Many Ancestors - So little time!
138. Still trying to decorate my family tree.
139. Take nothing but ancestors, leave nothing but records. 


140. That’s strange; half my ancestors are WOMEN!
141. The irony of life is that no one gets out alive…
142. The past is not dead. It isn't even past. -- William Faulkner, 1897-1962


143. The black sheep keeps the best info on the family.

When olden people wrote, they used what is called 'script'...actual pen to paper, and since a lot of them had limited schooling and they became very fast and free with spelling....census takers, supposedly more schooled, were often only slightly more educated than those people they were counting....and names could be grossly mistated....sometimes, you need to find the child in order to locate the parent....

Why do so many people claim to be creating family trees, when all they've done is create a telephone pole to a notable person? Last I knew, trees had branches and leaves. And are mostly very much more interesting to look at than telephone poles.

Here are the last of the list of "Sayings" that I have... I found a few more & put them at the end. Will be putting them where they belong alphabetically in a day or so. Hope you have enjoyed them. Now that you have MY list, does anyone have any others??? I will be happy to add them to my master listing.

144. There is no limit to what you can accomplish in your genealogy research when you are supposed to be doing something else.
145. There are no answers, only cross-references.
146. There is no fire, officer! I’m just chasing my ancestors!
147. There is no such thing as a useless piece of information.
148. There’s not enough chlorine in that gene pool!
149. Theory of relativity: If you go back far enough, we’re all related.
150. Think my family tree is a few branches short of full bloom. 


151. This packrat has learned that what the next generation will value most is not what we owned, but the evidence of who we were and the tales of how we loved. In the end, it's the family stories that are worth the storage.
-Ellen Goodman,
The Boston Globe 

152. Trees without roots fall over


153. Try genealogy. You can’t get fired and you can’t quit!
154. When I searched for ancestors, I found friends!
155. When we die we become 'stories' in the minds of other people. 

156. When you marry, your family tree can become a forest.
157. When you search for ancestors, you find great friends!
158. Where there is a will, you’ll find a genealogist!


159. Whoever said “seek and ye shall find” was NOT a genealogist.
160. Why are there so many gnarled limbs on my family tree?
161. With MY luck, my family tree has root-rot!
162. Your elusive relative has been spotted in more different locations than Elvis.
163. Your genealogy is never done!!!
164. A genealogist is someone who knows that all grandparents are great grandparents!
165. Eventually, all genealogists come to their census.
166. There’s a fine line between a packrat and a serious family historian.
167. Motivated genealogists scan once—and then share across the Internet!
168. A genealogist’s bad heir day is when you can’t find what you are looking for.
169. People who depend on their family tree for status should shake it first.

As I was looking for more Genealogy humor I found this song: "I Think I Hear a Woodpecker Knocking at My Tree" & had to listen to it. It is soooooo funny!!!

Go to: http://www.abmp3.info/mp3/i-think-hear-a-woodpecker-knocking-at-my-...

When you get to the site, go to the line that says: Download Play Embed Send Ringtone ad & click on "play". There are 3 versions (128 Kbps, 32 Kbps, & 64 Kbps) & as far as I could tell they are all the same--at least the sounded the same on my computer.

I hope you listen to it & laugh as hard as I did!!!

FYI, you don't need to download the song if you just want to listen to it.

Found another song that reflects the confusion sometimes found in genealogy. Thankfully it doesn't happen that often!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeIsxXDyjlc

It is also a poem, but I like it in the song form better & laughed until I almost wet my pants!!!

Always loved Ray Stevens.....hadn't heard that one though....

The re-use of same names is difficult enough, without trying to figure out the relationships of SOME families.....when they entwine branches.

Found this joke about Census Takers. Hope you laugh as you attempt to read thru it. He really needed a "Spell checker", didn't he??? (My spell checker found at least 27 mistakes [one was for a capital letter], can you find them all?) Thank goodness for Spell Checkers!!!!!!!!

Ever wonder why the census never makes sense???
Ocupayshun, cencus taker:
"I am a cencus taker for the city of Bufflow. our city has groan very fast in recent yeers & now in 1865, it has become a hard & time consuming job to count all the peephill. There are not many that con do this werk, as it is nesessaree to have an ejucation, wich a lot of pursons don not hav. Anuther atribeart needed for this job is gud speling, for meny of the peephill to be counted can hardle speek Inglish, let alon spel there names!"

That right there explains why you sometimes need to find the parent by looking through the child.....

You also commented on 5/13 about a Xggfather who married after he died.....I find a piece of paper and pencil is mandatory....to check on children as well as parents......I understand that there are ranges when a woman can bear children, but ages 7 and 68 stretch the realms of possibility....and usually mean that there was another spouse to search for.

But LOL at #135.

We must not forget that to be a census taker you did not need to be excellant at spelling, just better than the majority.....and that most children only got a few years of schooling.

No longer pouring here...just raining......great weekend for ducks.

::-)

Fay, Thanks for all of your comments/observations. At least I know at least one person is reading this!!! Wish others would make some comments also, so I know if anyone else is chuckling as a result of this discussion!

It is getting hot here in Glendale, AZ!!! It is 11 AM and is already 90!!!
Hugs,
Pat